exhausting

We're still trying to get back to 'normal' around here....although 'normal' will never be the same as it was!!  The adjustment of going from a family of three to a family of four has been an adventure so far. When it was just Boogie, we were on a pretty regular schedule....days sometimes seemed like Groundhog Day around here, same thing day in and day out...a happy, comfortable, predictable daily routine :)

Now that Pumpkin has entered the picture she sure has turned our world upside down!!  Some days are pretty easy and I feel like supermom! Other days are nothing short of chaos and I start to wonder what the heck I was thinking adding another human to this world!! :) So far, I have made three trips out of the house with both kiddos all by myself!  While the process of getting out and back into the house is still somewhat clumsy, I would consider those trips fairly successful. In this case I would define success as returning with the same number of children I left with....

I've never been one to judge others in their parenting techniques; I've always believed in the idea that every child is different and what works for one doesn't always work for another.  Well, I'm now living that idea on a daily basis.  It amazes me how different two child who are made of the same basic genetic material and living under the same conditions can be so drastically different!!  Boogie was such an easy baby; never really complained about anything, was sleeping 6 hours at night by 3 weeks and taking very regular,long naps from the beginning.  Boogie has always been a 'self soother' (enter the mommywars comments about how babies under a certain age can't self soothe...well, my son did, get over it!) and preferred to put himself to sleep.  Pumpkin, so far, I would definitely not categorize as "easy," exhausting would be a better descriptor.  From day one she has been very, very fussy.  We took her to the pediatrician at 8 days old and he diagnosed her with severe reflux and started her on a prescription of Zantac as she screams in pain and projectile vomits after she eats.  The medicine has seemed to help a little bit, no more projectile spew at least.  She still screams in pain and fusses a lot.  She demands to be held...all.the.time!  She needs to be bounced, rocked, walked to sleep.  The longest she's gone at night is about 3.5 hours without making a noise, but usually it's only 30-60 minutes.

Don't get me wrong.  I love my little pumpkin, I couldn't be happier that she's here and part of our world.  We're just adjusting; trying to navigate this new world.  I'm sure it was this stressful those first few weeks with Boogie, I just don't remember it!! I'm sleep deprived and stressed and sometimes feel like a failure as a mother/wife because I spend the entire day trying to soothe her.  It breaks my heart that she doesn't feel good. I miss our happy, comfortable, predictable daily routine...but, we'll get there again. I can do this!! And it's moments like this that keep me hopeful: